For my boy,
!!!READ THIS TROUGH , PLEASE!!!
THIS IS NOT A BREAKUP LETTER! THIS IS JUST MY FEELINGS , I AM SO SORRY FOR MY FEELINGS , BUT I CAN NOT HELP
MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS.
(please do not yell at me)
I am sorry that I haven t been myself for sometime now , but I ve been thinking . About someting deep...
I faced with going against my morals , or my relationship. And I need to decide , before I can t anymore.
I always have and will believe you , your side of the case.I never doubted you for a second. But how can I explain it ?
When I cant even explain it to myself. I often ask myself if I am crazy for going against my morals , because I know
you did not do it , but the courts/papers say otherwise. And thats what people believe...
Thats why I have been a bit more silent lately. (besides the fact that my chest feels like it exploded).
I DO NOT WANT IT TO BE EVER OVER BETWEEN YOU AND I , I feel something I ve never felt with anyone in my life before,
something unexplainable , like I am drawn to you , I do not know why . I feel safe , I can be vulnerable with you,
i feel protected , and loves a bit , or maybe I am just a dumbass for loving.
Seriously I do not know why I feel for you ,
how is it even possible for me to love someone like you... Someone who got 3 years... for ca, something i myself hate
more than anything.
You are probably wondering why I have to choose between you or my morals , but the thing is that I might have to say
goodbye to half of my career if I wish to stay with you. And this is not an easy choice for me .I already gave up going
to the states , because no way they would let you in, and i wish to be with you, wherever life takes me. I HONESTLY WISH
you would have killed another man , rather than those ca charges.
I mean look, imagine if you were a parent , would you ever take your child to a doctor who s husband had a charge of ca?
Wouldn t you think that she might've agreed with what her husband did...
And no , this will be known, this will rise to the surface one day, because nowadays they check pediatic docs like
hell to make sure that they aren t p***s, or anything bad . I mean it do be reasonable asf.
I honestly feel that it is pointless to only do adult medicine , if i study so much , than why not complete it?
I would lose half of my dream , and I want to complete both residencies.
But if i lose you , than I lose what i ve always been craving, a loving man...You are not perfect , however
And there is nothing, noone that can replace you to me. Only you can be you, and I never want to lose you.
You are incredably precious, and you mean much to me.
I need you , I need you, I need you; your care , company , presence , support , humor , being , existence, protection ,
stability, trust , emotions, power, control, worht , confidence , etc...
I don t ever wanna lose you , i just need time, to fight with my thoughts a bit.
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